Calendar: July -August 2014

Key dates that eyecare professionals should be thinking about in the coming months.

JULY 20 / These days, the term “read them the riot act” usually means a scolding, often for children. But in 1715, the British government of King George I instituted the ORIGINAL RIOT ACT — a rule that banned gatherings of more than 12 people, and required any law officers encountering such gatherings to command silence and read them the entire 53-word text of the Riot Act ordering them to disperse. Anyway, if you have trouble in your store or practice, today (or tomorrow, since it’s Monday) is a good day to gather the troops and vigorously address your issues.

JULY 21 / Today is  GET OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE DAY, but — men being men — this may as well be an everyday observance. Flowers are a traditional doghouse escape gift. So is jewelry. We say, let’s put it into guys’ heads that a pair of sunglasses is a good way to get out of the doghouse. Remember: Eyewear is jewelry for your face! (See “Words to Remember” on page 52 for more on this issue’s mantra.)

JULY 23 / Today is Harry Potter’s 25th birthday. Well, DANIEL RADCLIFFE TURNS 25 anyway. While the actor is not as famous for wearing spectacles as his most famous character was — and, in fact, he’s been quoted as saying his Potter glasses gave him a rash — it’s still a good excuse to honor the young star and the eyewear he has worn in reel life (and real life).

AUGUST 1 / It’s GIRLFRIEND’S DAY. Most women who celebrate this day will go to a movie, drink margaritas, or pig out on chocolate with a close friend or two. This year, your mission is to take over Girlfriend’s Day by inviting your female customers (and their best friends) to your store for sweets, wine, makeovers, and lots of fun playing with exotic eyewear. Ready to do something totally crazy? Turn your event into a slumber party. Also see SISTERS DAY on Aug. 3 and BEST FRIENDS DAY on Aug. 15 for similar opportunities.

AUGUST 6 / If one of your staff has breath that smells, in the words of novelist Martin Amis, like a small furry animal had crawled inside his mouth and died overnight, then take advantage of NATIONAL FRESH BREATH DAY. Run through the safe-breath drill in your morning team meeting: Drink lots of water, brush and floss regularly, scrape those tongues, and see the dentist regularly. Finally, insist they chant this 10 times: “Bad breath means sales death.”

AUGUST 11 / The ingredients for the perfect summer sales event? A balmy night, fine edibles and drinkables in crystal flutes, the sound of waves softly crashing in the distance, maybe a trunk show with a celebrity eyewear designer, all under a dazzling celestial show of tumbling stars. OK, the waves and the celebrity designer we can’t help you with, but the star show? We can deliver. The PERSEID METEOR SHOWER is due to peak Aug. 11-13. Perfect for your “Wish Upon a Falling Star” event.

AUGUST 18 / Hark, who goes there? NATIONAL BAD POETRY DAY, you sayest? A heck of a promotional opportunity, we declarest. Fire up your rusty iambic pentameter and send your customers hideously rhyming invitations for a hilarious night of superb wine and terrible poetry. (Invite your local newspaper and library.) Have your staff wear outlandish eyewear that guests can try on, too.