I have a cold. Glasses give me a headache. So today, I got fed up and decided enough is enough and I'm going to get used to contacts or bust! I put on daily MFs and went about my day. My husband threatened to secretly record me and post the running commentary...
I'll just tell you about the day instead...
Hour 1: I feel like there are worms in my eyes.
Hour 2: I can read! Woohoo! If only there weren't worms in my eyes ...
Hour 3: Hey! If my right eye felt like my right eye, I could actually get to hour 4!
Hour 4: Removed lenses, replaced with new pair.
Hour 5: WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE MY 30 YEAR OLD EYES BACK?!!!
Hour 6: Let me over-refract myself to see if I can make it better ... Plano/Plano 20/blurry 20/blurry. Damn it! Why does everything have halos and shadows?!!!
Hour 7: Well, at least I don't have my usual sinus-glasses-headache and I guess halos and shadows are better than fingerprints and smudges.
Hour 8: Cannot wait to rip the worms out of my eyes!!!
Hour 9: HEY!!! My feet don't hurt! I'm wearing three-inch heels all day and my feet don't hurt?! Oh, duh! BECAUSE I'M DISTRACTED BY THE SQUIRMING WORMS IN MY EYEBALLS!
Time to walk to dinner after work. Wow, all the street signs look like a drunk person painted them. I wonder how many higher order aberrations these stupid lenses induce?
Hour 10: Yay!!! I can read the menu without handing it to the person seated three tables away or asking batman to use his floodlight to illuminate the room! Added bonus: I can tell I'm having dinner with my husband and not some generic gray man.
Hour 10.5: Gin Lizzie with my grilled salmon and quinoa salad ... WOW!!! These contacts are really comfy! (Alcohol makes everything better.)
The 11th hour: I can post crap on Facebook without glasses!!!!!!!! And I think the post is relatively typo-free!!!
Will now wash hands and extract squirming worms from eyeballs.
And you think my patients are nuts?!!
Dr. Viola Kanevsky lives and works in New York City. Her practice focuses on specialty and pediatric contact lenses. A graduate of the SUNY College of Optometry, she enjoys helping children at home and on medical missions in Peru, Mexico and Guatemala with Volunteer Optometric Services to Humanity.