HOW LITTLE THEY KNOWSomeone who was looking for a little laugh on Opticians on Facebook posted the following discussion topic: “What’s the dumbest question/ request you ever heard on the job?” Here is a handful of our favorite ridiculous queries that followed:
➤“How can I tell which contact goes in my left eye? Only the boxes for my right eye are marked!”
➤“I can see out of your glasses, can I just buy those?”
➤ “My husband doesn’t wear glasses. Can I just bill his insurance benefit for my second pair?”
➤ “I only have one eye. Can I get everything half off?” (One poster suggested answering this question with another: “If you have one leg, do you get half price on pants?”)
➤ “My daughter and I bought these contacts at the gas station. Can you show us how to put them in?”
➤ (Holding frames) “How much are these lenses?”
➤ “Does this come in a different frame?”
➤ “Do you have anything with absolutely no metal in the frame? Not even a screw. The government could use it to turn my head into an antenna, and I just can’t allow this.”
IT’S BETTER IN VIRGINIA➤ The above thread also featured an entry from Virgina optician William Duane Cox, which is notable enough to earn its own paragraph due to a patient who didn’t quite understand the small letters on her Acuvue contact lenses.
Caller: “Is my contact prescription good in North Carolina? I just moved from (my area in) Virginia to Carolina.”
Me: “It certainly is, ma’am.”
Caller: “But my contacts have ‘VA’ on them!”
Me: “You have your contacts inside out. They read “AV” when they are not inside out. It’s just a coincidence that when they are inside out, it’s the abbreviation for Virginia!”
EYEWEAR GETS BUZZFED➤ A few home truths, Buzzfeed- style, from an article entitled, “21 Struggles That All People Who Wear Glasses Will Understand.” (We can imagine INVISION readers all cringing at item No. 3.)
2. Needing to clean off your glasses constantly.
3. And if you happen to be wearing the wrong fabric (wool), trying to wipe them with your clothes will only make things worse.
10. When someone tells you to look at something right after you’ve taken your glasses off, so you have to put them right back on again.
11. People always asking to try on your glasses, as if somehow they will magically improve their vision as well.
19. The fog that happens when you drink hot beverages, or when you’re cooking, or basically any time there is a big change in temperature.Buzzfeed
PATIENT HITS THE GAS➤Epic contact lens class yesterday. 16-year-old boy, big kid. A blinker and a fumbler. So nervous that every time he got within an inch of his eye with the lens, he squeezed his eyes shut and farted. I thought to myself “Dear God, make this end.” He’s coming back today for a second try. Guess who is not sitting in there with him. Opticians on Facebook
This article originally appeared in the June 2016 edition of INVISION.