Hey. remember me? Overheard Optometry, the social media page that highlights funny stories in eye care, started in 2016. Every post was celebrated. The odd ones. The common questions about astigmatism. The not-so-common, cringe-worthy ones (why are we still pouring lemon juice drops in the eye, people?). The page went viral and is currently home to a community of 25,000 members on Instagram and Facebook.

Imagine my amusement when the “red flag” memes started trending last month. Red flags usually signal some type of imminent danger. In the case of social media however, these warning sign emojis are for any exchange with someone that would be a deal-breaker. Everyone jumped on board and gave examples of their biggest and smallest pet peeves that warranted the red flag. You don’t like pineapple on your pizza? 🚩🚩🚩 (fight me). You’ve never had sushi? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

So let’s collaborate, shall we?

Occasionally, as in every day ending in a “y”?

Do they hurt like my heart is hurting right now?

Glad you attended to your emergency within your non-emergent timeframe.

Yay! So excited for this conversation.

Engineers: our favorite kind of patients.

Please stop. We don’t care.

Oh good. My lucky day.

Wow. Okay let me really polish up my skills.

Arrives 20 minutes later.

Hang on. I need a coffee break.