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Overheard Optometry

18 Crazy Excuses That Patients Gave for Breaking or Losing Their Glasses

‘Out jumps this angry rabid squirrel that attacked her face.’

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These glasses are oven-baked, not fried. PHOTO COURTESY OF DR. CHRISTINA DIXON.

YOU SEE YOUR PATIENT walking into the office with trepidation and a familiar grimace and you know just what it means: lost or broken glasses.

As you work to solve the problem, you hear all kinds of explanations, from the plausible to the far-fetched.

The best are those that just have to be true, because how could you make this stuff up?

Take a look at some of our favorite submitted stories from the communities of Overheard Optometry and ODs on Facebook.

1. Patient: “I ran over my glasses with my car.” – Dr. Sara Erlich, Hackensack, NJ

2. Patient: “My dog sat on my glasses.” – Susan Klein Friday, Optica, Natick, MA

3. Patient: “I opened the case and they were like this.” – Julie, Calgary, AB, Canada

4. Patient: “I flushed it down an industrial-strength Bank of America toilet.” – Dr. Beth S., New York, NY

5. Optometrist: “How did you break these?”

Patient: “I was playing soccer.”

Optometrist: “Oh, took a ball to the face?”

Patient: “Uh, no, I gave them to my mom and she put them in her pocket and sat down on them.” – Dr. Mark Foust, Eye Contact Vision Center, Rock Hill, SC

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6. Patient: “I need new glasses. Mine are now oven-baked, not fried.” – Dr. Christina Dixon, Eagle Eye Vision Center, Stafford, VA

7. “[The patient] went to throw some garbage in the dumpster and heard an odd noise. She opened the dumpster and out jumps this angry rabid squirrel that attacked her face. Ended up scratching the lenses terribly and she fell, which lead to the frames getting mangled.” – Dr. Nick Jankowski, Mt. View EyeCare Center, Vancouver, WA

8. Patient: “My cat ate my glasses.” – Dr. Nick Jankowski, Mt. View EyeCare Center, Vancouver, WA

9. Patient: “I haven’t seen my best friend in many years. We decided to have a glass of wine on my front porch. What comes next, I found myself running down the street in my birthday suit in the rain in the dark and lost my glasses in the process. There was no way I was going to walk around my neighborhood the next day or ever find it again.” – Dr. Lan T. Nguyen, Optometrist, Round Rock, TX

10. Optometrist: “How did your glasses break?”

8-year-old patient: “My brother stepped on them.”

Mom and patient begin to laugh.

Optometrist: “What’s so funny about your brother stepping on your glasses?”

Patient: “I was wearing them when he stepped on my face.” – Dr. Paul Woolf, Woolf EyeCare Center, Gilbert, AZ

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11. Patient: “I was on a party bus last night and my buddy put them on the radiator [and melted them]. Can you fix them?” – Jenna Gilbertson, McCulley Optix Gallery, Fargo, ND

12. Patient: “I am here because my glasses aren’t fitting anymore. Can you fix them for me?”

Temples in an almost unfixable angle.

Optometrist: “Well, that’s going to be hard to fix. May I ask what happened?”

Patient: “Nothing. It just happened like this.” – Dr. Marianne Lindenberg, The Netherlands

13. Patient: “I flushed them down the toilet.” – Megan Korte, Eye Institute East, Columbia, MO

14. Patient: “A parrot ate them.” – Amanda Wiseman, Primary Eyecare Associates, Sidney, OH

15. “I had one who claimed that she picked up the specs on Monday and didn’t touch them for two days and then she opened the case and the lens had a massive crack. This crack could be felt on the other side. Sounded like magic.” – Aruba Ahmed, optometry student

16. Patient: “I sneezed and then my glasses fell off!” – Sanne, Hoofddorp, The Netherlands

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17. “They were carrying their baby when the baby took the glasses off the [patient’s] face and threw them across the room.” – Ana, FL

18. Patient: “Hi, I need to replace my glasses. Can you check if I’m still eligible for the warranty?”

Optometrist: “Yes, it’s been about six months. Just make sure to bring the old pair.”

Patient: “Well, I lost them. Why else would I need a new pair?” – Dr. Movses D’Janbatian, Brand Optometry, Glendale, CA

Elvira Derhovsepian is an ophthalmic scribe and the creator of the social media platform @overheardoptometry, a community of people who share their unique (and sometimes so very common) stories in eyecare. Derhovsepian recently published the first volume of the Overheard Optometry book, now available at Amazon.com, and enjoys freelance writing and editing in her free time.

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Overheard Optometry

15 Ways Patients Tried to Deny That Their Vision Got Worse

‘Vision is a state of mind. If my mind is clear, my vision is clear.’

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THERE’S SOMETHING infuriating about patients who claim “I can see fine” but have 48-point type on their phone and a selfie stick to hold the phone at a comfortable distance. Meanwhile they’re squinting to read the Wi-Fi password in the waiting area.

Why won’t they just admit that they can’t read their books or street signs? Maybe they’re all in on this massive, worldwide joke and planning to force eye doctors into an early retirement.

At least there’s one upside: ECPs can rejoice in sharing their patients’ unique claims of how their vision did not change. Can your patients beat these stories?

Certainly, Captain Jack Sparrow. Who needs the other eye anyway?

 

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Phoenix, Arizona, USA • #overheardoptometry #visualacuity #optometryinarizona

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Maybe I can pick this up at my next yoga session.

 

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Los Angeles, California, USA #overheardoptometry #bcva #stateofmind #vision #optometryincalifornia

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How often do people read, use the computer and drive anyway?

 

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Glendale, California, USA #overheardoptometry #patients #denial #glasses #optometryincalifornia

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Companies should invest in rechargeable prescription lenses already.

 

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Wichita, Kansas, USA #overheardoptometry #optical #glasses #prescription #medicine #optometryinkansas

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Just leave it to the experts in space…

 

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Utrecht, Netherlands #overheardoptometry #cosmos #myopia #contactlenses #myopicdenial #optometryinthenetherlands

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Looks like this optometrist got caught read-handed.

 

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Sherman Oaks, California, USA #overheardoptometry #bifocal #progressive #glasses #addpower #bifocalize #optometryincalifornia

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Maybe the optometrist was having an off day and didn’t mean to prescribe glasses last time.

 

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Florence, Kentucky, USA #overheardoptometry #glasses #denial #grocerystore #optometryinkentucky

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Why on Earth would we want to do that?

 

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College Station, Texas, USA #overheardoptometry #optometryintexas

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There’s distance, then there’s television distance.

 

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📍Charleston, South Carolina, USA 🇺🇸 • #overheardoptometry #tvglasses #glasses #optometryinsouthcarolina

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Or just carry that selfie stick with you everywhere …

 

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Singapore #overheardoptometry #optician #readingnglasses #toldyouso #optometryinsingapore

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Why didn’t the phoropter fix this patient’s eyes? We’ll never know.

 

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Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA #overheardoptometry #eyeemergency #optometryinmichigan

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But no changes at all. You see, vision isn’t actually seeing. It’s a state of mind.

 

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Eau Claire, Wisconsin, USA #overheardoptometry #denial #optometryinwisconsin

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Good save, optometrist.

 

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Bromley, Kent, UK #overheardoptometry #eyeexam #optometryinengland

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They’re onto us.

 

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Manila, Philippines #overheardoptometry #astigmatism #culprit #optometryinphilippines

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Have we been reading letters wrong this entire time?

 

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Bishop Auckland, England, United Kingdom #overheardoptometry #learntoread #shapes #learnnewthings #optometryinengland

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Overheard Optometry

11 of the Weirdest Things that Eye Doctors Heard from Patients

“When I smoke weed, why do my pupils dilate like I’m on speed?”

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AS AN EYECARE PRACTITIONER, you know that certain commonly asked questions and comments — “What’s astigmatism?”, “Are the dilation drops necessary?”, “I can’t read up close anymore” — come with the territory. But occasionally patients also say things that are jaw-dropping, cringe-worthy or downright bizarre.

Today, we bring you a few of our favorite weird remarks that have been shared by optometrists, opticians and optometric technicians.

1. “When I smoke weed, why do my pupils dilate like I’m on speed?” –Dr. Sarah Lyn Sliva, optometrist, Saskatchewan, Canada

2. Patient: “So Doc, am I near-farted or what?”

Doctor: “I hope not, I’m standing right beside you!” –Anonymous

(Patient accidentally combined ‘near’ and ‘far’-sighted together)

3. Patient (to female optometrist): “Didn’t you used to be a man?” –Anonymous

4. “Years ago I had a patient see the progressive identifiers in his lenses. He was convinced they contained personal information and that it was a government conspiracy. He insisted I remake the lenses without the markings. I happily said that’s not possible, but he could switch to a lined bifocal, which he did.” –Kristi Johnson, optician, Rochester Hills, MI

5. Optometrist: “OK, now that you’re dilated, we are going to do the internal portion of your eye exam.”

Patient: “Um, OK. Does that mean you want me to take my pants off?” –Anonymous, technician, DE

6. “The funniest thing that I’ve encountered was when a patient asked me if I was going to check him for gonorrhea as it runs in the family; I politely asked, ‘Do you mean glaucoma?’” –Dr. Steven Koganovsky, optometrist, Fort Lauderdale, FL

7. Low-vision elderly patient: “This is my bad eye! I can’t see any of the ladies with this eye!”

Doctor: “Your wife is sitting right there!”

Patient: “It’s OK. She’s hard of hearing!” –Dr. Sarah Truman, Optometrist, Wichita, KS

8. “I had a follow-up a few years ago in which I placed a woman on Muro 128 ointment for Fuch’s Dustrophy. She came in for appointment and her cornea looked chewed up. I was dumbfounded. I asked her if she was taking her ointment as directed. She said she was. I asked to show me the ointment to make sure it was the correct one from the pharmacy and she pulls out Vagisil cream. She said she read the labels and it was ‘safe for delicate areas’ and assumed it was okay for her eye.” –Dr. Angela Tsai, optometrist, Fredericksburg, VA

9. Optometrist: “Are you taking any medication?”

Patient: “Does weed count? It really should, legalize it.” –Anonymous

10. “Patient called and was very concerned her sold her plutonium frames and was confused as why we would sell her radioactive frames that cause cancer. We politely informed her that they were titanium.” –Dr. Julie Hart, Optometrist, Hart Family Eyecare, West Plains, MO

11. “My glasses have prism in the left eye for astigmatism.” –Anonymous

Can you share any similar stories? Submit yours to @OverheardOptometry on Instagram or Facebook through direct message, or send an email to overheardoptometry@gmail.com.

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Overheard Optometry

14 Ridiculously Funny Things That Kids Actually Said at the Eye Doctor’s Office

“Are you allergic to anything?” “Poison.”

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As a child, going to any kind of doctor’s office is nerve-wrecking. You notice the latex gloves, red-capped eye drops, alcohol wipes and different metal tools, not to mention the smell of “exam room” everywhere you walk in the office.

So it’s no wonder that kids arrive to their eye exam appointments filled with mixed emotions. Some are curious, filled with questions for which doctors have no way to prepare ahead of time. Others react with horror to any sight of drops or gadgets. Some child patients even come to the office with words of wisdom for adults to live by.

Read below for 14 of our favorite stories of children at the eye doctor’s office, submitted by ECPs from all over. One thing’s for sure: Children are funny, curious and charming no matter where they live, or which doctor’s office they visit.

When the optometrist is no longer a doctor in this innocent child’s eyes, but a blatant traitor.

I mean, she’s not lying …

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Why haven’t we thought about this before?

Asking for a friend.

At least he’s too young to reveal this on Yelp.

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How could Mom forget?

Think twice before you call your patient … err, patient’s eyes … lazy.

He comes prepared.

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Dreams are broken at the optometrist’s office.

Creative jargon.

I think this gets covered during second year of optometry school … right?

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At least his sinuses are working!

When life’s answers are revealed in the exam room.

When you decide there should be an age limit on when to show retinal photos to your
patients …

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