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Inbox: June 2016

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HOW LITTLE THEY KNOW

Someone who was looking
for a little laugh on Opticians
on Facebook posted the
following discussion topic:
“What’s the dumbest question/
request you ever heard
on the job?” Here is a handful
of our favorite ridiculous
queries that followed:

“How can I tell which contact
goes in my left eye? Only
the boxes for my right eye are
marked!”

“I can see out of your glasses,
can I just buy those?”

“My husband doesn’t
wear glasses. Can I just bill
his insurance benefit for my
second pair?”

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“I only have one eye. Can I
get everything half off?” (One
poster suggested answering
this question with another:
“If you have one leg, do you
get half price on pants?”)

“My daughter and I bought
these contacts at the gas station.
Can you show us how to
put them in?”

(Holding frames) “How
much are these lenses?”

“Does this come in a different
frame?”

“Do you have anything
with absolutely no metal in
the frame? Not even a
screw. The government
could use it to
turn my head into an
antenna, and I just
can’t allow this.”


IT’S BETTER IN VIRGINIA

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The above thread also featured
an entry from Virgina
optician William Duane Cox,
which is notable enough to
earn its own paragraph due
to a patient who didn’t quite
understand the small letters
on her Acuvue contact lenses.

Caller: “Is my contact prescription
good in North Carolina?
I just moved from (my
area in) Virginia to Carolina.”

Me: “It certainly is, ma’am.”

Caller: “But my contacts have ‘VA’ on them!”

Me: “You have your contacts inside out. They read “AV”
when they are not inside out.
It’s just a coincidence that
when they are inside out, it’s
the abbreviation for Virginia!”


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EYEWEAR GETS BUZZFED

A few home truths, Buzzfeed-
style, from an article
entitled, “21 Struggles That
All People Who Wear Glasses
Will Understand.” (We can
imagine INVISION readers
all cringing at item No. 3.)

2. Needing to clean off your glasses constantly.

3. And if you happen to be
wearing the wrong fabric
(wool), trying to wipe them
with your clothes will only
make things worse.

10. When someone tells you
to look at something right after
you’ve taken your glasses
off, so you have to put them
right back on again.

11. People always asking to try
on your glasses, as if somehow
they will magically improve
their vision as well.

19. The fog that happens
when you drink
hot beverages, or
when you’re cooking,
or basically any
time there is a big
change in temperature.

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PATIENT HITS THE GAS

Epic contact lens class
yesterday. 16-year-old boy, big
kid. A blinker and a fumbler.
So nervous that every time he
got within an inch of his eye
with the lens, he squeezed
his eyes shut and farted. I
thought to myself “Dear God,
make this end.” He’s coming
back today for a second try.
Guess who is not sitting in
there with him. Opticians on Facebook


This article originally appeared in the June 2016 edition of INVISION.

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