WE HAD A MECHANIC who returned a pair of glasses that were scratched all to hell. He said, “I followed your directions and used soap and water to clean them.” I asked what kind of soap he used, to which he replied, “Lava, that’s all I use.” When I stopped laughing I offered him a new pair of lenses and I have told this story for the last 30 years. — Alexander Saper, Great Glasses, Houston, TX

I had a patient call with “something irritating her left eye for the past day.” We brought her in right away. I initially thought it was a chalazion that she had been picking at until I looked under the slit lamp. What I thought was a scab actually had legs. It was a tick embedded in her lid margin! — Kimberly Riggs, OD, Ligonier, PA

Had a patient come in the office five minutes before their appointment to tell us they will not be here for their appointment and then ran out. — Michael Davis, OD Opti-Care, Eldersburg, MD