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What I Wanted to Say to the Patient Who Asked Me About “Latex Surgery”

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“I think I need a more comprehensive history of your sex life.”

 To the patient who asked me about “latex surgery.” Then, as he pondered that reply, I would proceed to explain the ins and outs of Lasik surgery.

Woulda Coulda Shouldas are provided anonymously by INVISION’s Brain Squad


This article originally appeared in the September 2017 edition of INVISION.

What’s the Brain Squad?

If you’re the owner or top manager of a U.S. eyecare business serving the public, you’re invited to join the INVISION Brain Squad. By taking one five-minute quiz a month, you can get a free t-shirt, be featured prominently in this magazine, and make your voice heard on key issues affecting eyecare professionals. Good deal, right? Sign up here.

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SPONSORED BY KENMARK

Jump In — the Water’s Fine!

With a salute to summer’s shimmery, mermaid colors and warm weather-loving shades, Kenmark Eyewear celebrates this summer’s Aloha spirit with eyewear from Vera Wang, Kensie, Zac Posen and the Original Penguin Collection!

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True Tales

Warning: Objects in Readers May Be Smaller Than They Appear

Proof that you should never judge a book by her cover.

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Straitlaced patient was getting her first readers. My optician told her that things would look clearer and larger when she wears her new Rx. Patient said “Great, I’ll wear them in bed tonight.” Drop the mic. Cracked us up. — Texas Smith, OD, Dr. Texas Smith & Associates, Citrus Heights, CA

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Sanity Files

A Husband and Wife Team that Found Sanity is Slowing Down

The perfect formula is see fewer patients, spend more time with them and enjoy the occasional dinner out.

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Drs. Michael and Kimberly Hoyt
Artisan Eyeworks, Ashland, OR

This February — the month dedicated to love — we highlight a husband and wife team, who after seeing 40 plus patients a day for 20 years, found love again … the love of optometry. They opened Artisan in 2014 to see fewer patients and spend more time with them. They enjoy watching something they built from scratch thrive, being involved in the optical, and being able to have genuine relationships with their patients. In comparison to their old lives, stressful days are rare, but on those days they get out late, “We’ll go out for a nice dinner,” shares Michael. “We’re lucky to have quite a few really good restaurants in Ashland.”

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True Tales

Sometimes Customers Need to Get There on Their Own

A tale of one customer who thought complaints alone would solve his problem.

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A customer called with a complaint about his glasses. Our optician asked him several times to bring the glasses in so we could look at them, while the customer continued to complain. The optician finally said, “Sir, please hold them up to the phone so I can take a good look at them.” (This was before FaceTime.) The customer replied, “You can’t see them over the phone.” To which the optician replied, “You are correct, sir. Please bring them in.” — Bob McBeath, Edina Eye, Edina, MN

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