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Woulda Coulda Shoulda

What You Should Have Said to the Mother of that Horrible Child

She was an M&M-eating hellspawn.

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To the mother of the 9-year-old who always makes a beeline for the candy dish and proceeds to stuff her face until they leave. One time she dropped some M&Ms on the floor, looked one of my opticians in the eye and ground them into the floor with her foot when asked to pick them up.

Woulda Coulda Shouldas are provided anonymously by INVISION’s Brain Squad.

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Since launching in 2014, INVISION has won 21 international journalism awards for its publication and website. Contact INVISION's editors at editor@invisionmag.com.

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Woulda Coulda Shoulda

This Is What One ECP Wishes She Had Said to a Rude Couple and Their Monster Children

This isn’t Walmart.

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“This isn’t Walmart. And you can take your prescription anywhere and have it filled.”

To the couple who’d purchased a gift certificate at a silent auction: They came in and were truly the rudest people I have ever experienced. Their large, pre-teen kids were riding around the store on the baby car, doing cartwheels. And then they declared, “Glasses are so much cheaper at Walmart.”

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Woulda Coulda Shoulda

No One Likes A Know It All

But be sure to say it with a smile. On second thought, just don’t say it.

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“It must be quite a burden to be the only one who is right all the time.”

…To the know-it-all customer

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Woulda Coulda Shoulda

Make That Difficult Patient a Chain Store’s Problem

What you’d have said to that rude, frustrating or clueless patient …

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“I suggest you go to a chain store where you might get better service.”

To one of those rare belligerent customers: “We do recommend they go elsewhere. By traveling to another office they might calm down and we rarely see them again, as we don’t need their business or appreciate the disruption to our office.”

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