EYECARE PROVIDERS, like anyone who works in a public-facing job, have to bite their tongue frequently. When a customer is being a pain, the first response that comes to mind is not always one that should be said aloud.
Over the years, INVISION has collected these perfect (but unspeakable) quips in its “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” feature.
Enjoy this collection of one-liners that ECPs would have liked to say, but didn’t. Well, OK, once or twice they did!
“Bullsh**!”
What I did say to the customer who said his doctor didn’t make mistakes, and we’d made the glasses wrong. I told him the doctor changed his prescription and the glasses were fine. I remade the lenses and he believed me after I explained to him that prescriptions can change. Haven’t done it again but it was fun for the moment.
“I can help you for $100 since that is what my margin would have been had you bought that here.”
To the people who come in with something they bought elsewhere and want us to fix or adjust it.
“I suggest you go to a chain store where you might get better service.”
To one of those rare belligerent customers: “We do recommend they go elsewhere. By traveling to another office they might calm down and we rarely see them again, as we don’t need their business or appreciate the disruption to our office.”
“It must be quite a burden to be the only one who is right all the time.”
…To the know-it-all customer
“This isn’t Walmart. And you can take your prescription anywhere and have it filled.”
To the couple who’d purchased a gift certificate at a silent auction: They came in and were truly the rudest people I have ever experienced. Their large, pre-teen kids were riding around the store on the baby car, doing cartwheels. And then they declared, “Glasses are so much cheaper at Walmart.”