IF YOU CHANGE your tone, you will be more successful at influencing others. A true statement. Most hear this and begin focusing on their tone in conversations to adapt their inflection to sound more chipper, and smile while speaking, as a smile can be heard through speech. Though helpful, these changes alone are not persuasive adjustments.
Your tone is not just how you say your words, it resonates through the words you speak. Swapping one word for another can divert a conversation headed down a track of negativity toward positivity, to create a compelling statement that influences those around you.
I recently saw an Instagram reel by Vinh Giang (@askvinh), a fantastic communicator, in which he explained how the words “Yes, and…” can turn a negative conversation positive. These two simple words make a monumental impact. He uses the example of someone objecting with, “We’ve decided not to go with your company.” He would reply with, “Yes, and I would love to know why.” The “yes” is an affirmation that lets the person feel heard while the “and” keeps the conversation moving forward. Together they are quite transformative allowing the conversation to stay on a positive track while still giving the response a chance to be heard by the person who was giving the objection—where common responses could shut down the conversation or steer it further into a defensive negative direction.
I love the simplicity in the “Yes, and…” concept! Reflecting on the communication lessons we offer Spexy members, in which we teach the importance of optical teams staying curious and keeping conversations open, I realized that at their core is a version of “Yes, and…” Let’s review common objections we hear in optical where we can adjust the tone of the conversation by using, “Yes, and…”
“Your glasses are too expensive.”
Rather than the numerous forms of “You get what you pay for,” used by opticians everywhere, a less confrontational and more refined response would be, “Yes, and the reason why is that the glasses we produce for you will give you exceptional clarity. That said, we do have beautiful frames to fit nearly any budget. Let’s find the style you are wanting and I will show you different pricing options.”
“I am going to get my glasses online.”
Rather than opticians hanging their heads in defeat while handing over the prescription, a thoughtful response like this would keep communication open: “Yes, and I would love to know why because I am looking for ways to improve our optical.” As a frame buyer you can learn a lot about the perception of your optical by making yourself vulnerable to what your optical shoppers are really thinking. Does every single patient opinion need to create a change on your part? Absolutely not! However, getting repeated feedback can bring enlightenment. Maybe you have a crappy frame selection, but more likely your optical does not do a great job at showcasing the sexy, fun, funky frames and the perception of the people who are going online is that your optical is boring.
The tone we are communicating with can be amazingly influential if we not only focus on having a friendly inflection but also make thoughtful word choices to become more compelling to those we are talking to. Developing the right communication skills will make you more influential in every area of life but imagine your impact when you can competently use influential communication when getting your patient or customer eyewear they love.