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True Tales

Could You Keep Your Cool if a Roach Joined You in the Exam Room?

It happened to this doc. See how he reacted.

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YEARS AGO, when I worked at a commercial practice, I was refracting a patient. I was standing to her right and spinning the dials when I looked down and noticed a cockroach sitting on her shoulder. Without a pause, I moved the near point rod down and gently placed my hand on her shoulder, at the same time flicking the roach onto the wall behind her. I completed the exam and the patient didn’t have a clue as to what transpired. — Mark Perry, OD, Vision Health Institute, Orlando, FL

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True Tales

You Should See What See Keeps in the Other Box Under Her Bed

Curiously weak lashes!

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WE HAD A PATIENT who was worried that she was losing her eyelashes too rapidly … so she collected them all in a little Altoids box and whipped it out under the doctor’s nose while in the exam lane. She wanted the doc to look at the discarded hairs “to see if there’s any issues.” The doctor politely informed her that “everything looks normal!” We still haven’t figured out how she collected that many eyelashes. — Jen Heller, Pend Oreille Vision Care, Sandpoint, ID

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True Tales

At Closing Time Sometimes It’s a Race to the Door

Lights off just isn’t enough for some people.

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It’s closing time, the lights are off and we are at the door to leave, when one of our senior citizen patients announces, “I’m here!” So, we turn the lights back on. We let her know it’s closing time. She says with a laugh, “I got here before you walked out to the sidewalk and locked the door, so you will help me.” She explains she just got a ride back from a doctor’s office and needs to get new glasses. The two of us exchange looks and say, “Why not?” Life in a small town. Jill Sweig, OD, Oyster Bay, Optics, Oyster Bay, NY,/span>

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True Tales

Luckily Surrogacy is Not a Job Requirement

The customer asked her, “Will you have my baby?” But it’s definitely not what you think.

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Last year, we had a long time patient come in, prop her elbows on the counter, and proceeded to tell me her eggs were getting old and she was worried if she would be able to have any more children. Then her face brightened, and she looked at me, and asked, “Have you ever considered being a surrogate? You would be great, you’re still so young and healthy.” Fortunately, our Employee Handbook does not list surrogacy under any of the job requirements. I politely declined the honor. — Jen Heller, Pend Oreille Vision Care, Sandpoint, ID

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