MEDICAL MYSTERY? DYSTOPIAN fantasy? Political satire? Horror? If 2020 were a book, it’s hard to say which corner of the bookstore (remember those?) you’d find it in. Looking for an answer, INVISION asked hundreds of eyecare business owners and managers who responded to our 2020 Big Survey to tell us what the opening sentence would be if they were to pen a tome about this genre-defying year. It goes without saying we got many riffs on the Charles Dickens classic, “It was the best of times…” And at the editor’s discretion, we’ve removed most of the profanity-laden entries (though they were great for a laugh!). Here are the best of the rest:
Question: If you were writing a book about 2020, what would the opening sentence be?
- Hang on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride…
- A rabbi, a priest and a minister were sitting at a bar… (Oh yeah, this is 2020; never mind that!)
- The Slow Down had many silver linings.
- Killer virus, inept President, could we possibly see our way to a brighter future?
- It was a strange and confusing year, like looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.
- You’re not going to believe what I’m about to tell you, but…
- No one ever expected this.
- Well…. this happened.
- My husband and I really DO like each other. Then again, we’d never been home together for days and days and days…
- If we had only had a President with empathy and intelligence the following story would be much better.
- They always say hope for the best, plan for the worst, and try to end up somewhere in the middle…
- The year that everything went badly, and was the biggest blessing.
- Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse.
- Once upon a time in an imaginary nightmare…
- Nothing is as good as you hope it to be, but nothing is as bad as it seems.
- If there were ever a year that put “always look for the good…” to the test, it would be 2020.
- We did not SEE this coming.
- The dumpster was on fire…
- Forget everything you know to be true.
- If you are reading this book, it means we have made it to the year 2021.
- So you think you have flaws as a manager? Let me tell you the story about how the U.S. government mismanaged a pandemic.
- Brace yourselves. Things are about to get crazy.
- In a land far, far away… no, I mean right here in central Florida.
- We once believed that our model of “rugged individualism” served us well, until we realized it was really unfettered selfishness without regard for others.
- The “Year of the Eye Doctor” was sickened by a virus.
- Turn back now.
- Buckle up!
- Let me tell you a story about why I was arrested.
- 2020, this bitch.
- This book is not fiction.
- We the Sheeple of the United States of America, in order to form more perfect puppets, were part of an experiment by those we trusted.
- 2020 was the year we all got a clearer view on what was really important.
- When the world shut down, we rose to the occasion…
The 2020 INVISION Big Survey was taken by more than 270 North American eyecare business owners or managers. Look out for the November-December edition of INVISION or visit www.invisionmag.com/the-big-survey-2020 to read the full results, and even more on how ECPs fared during a weird, weird year.