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True Tales

At This Optician’s Business, It’s High Time

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We have several clients, who I won’t name because they are well known. They are usually musicians and they come in high as a kite; they smell so strong we all need a pizza when they leave. They usually pay cash and give you an alias for their records. When they come back in, they never know what name they gave you the last time. If there is an issue with a frame you can’t service it because you can’t find their records. — Wendy S., Atlanta, GA


This article originally appeared in the April 2017 edition of INVISION.

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True Tales

You Should See What See Keeps in the Other Box Under Her Bed

Curiously weak lashes!

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WE HAD A PATIENT who was worried that she was losing her eyelashes too rapidly … so she collected them all in a little Altoids box and whipped it out under the doctor’s nose while in the exam lane. She wanted the doc to look at the discarded hairs “to see if there’s any issues.” The doctor politely informed her that “everything looks normal!” We still haven’t figured out how she collected that many eyelashes. — Jen Heller, Pend Oreille Vision Care, Sandpoint, ID

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True Tales

At Closing Time Sometimes It’s a Race to the Door

Lights off just isn’t enough for some people.

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It’s closing time, the lights are off and we are at the door to leave, when one of our senior citizen patients announces, “I’m here!” So, we turn the lights back on. We let her know it’s closing time. She says with a laugh, “I got here before you walked out to the sidewalk and locked the door, so you will help me.” She explains she just got a ride back from a doctor’s office and needs to get new glasses. The two of us exchange looks and say, “Why not?” Life in a small town. Jill Sweig, OD, Oyster Bay, Optics, Oyster Bay, NY,/span>

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True Tales

Luckily Surrogacy is Not a Job Requirement

The customer asked her, “Will you have my baby?” But it’s definitely not what you think.

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Last year, we had a long time patient come in, prop her elbows on the counter, and proceeded to tell me her eggs were getting old and she was worried if she would be able to have any more children. Then her face brightened, and she looked at me, and asked, “Have you ever considered being a surrogate? You would be great, you’re still so young and healthy.” Fortunately, our Employee Handbook does not list surrogacy under any of the job requirements. I politely declined the honor. — Jen Heller, Pend Oreille Vision Care, Sandpoint, ID

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