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True Tales

The Man With the Funny Blue Eyes

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I fit a new patient with opaque contact lenses. He wrote a bad check and never showed up for his follow-up appointment. We contacted him, he scheduled another appointment and was to take care of his balance but didn’t show again! The following week my office was broken into through my exam-room window and the only things taken were opaque contacts! I was suspicious. Police took fingerprints, but no match. Fast forward several weeks, I’m reading the newspaper and a person of similar description was arrested for breaking through a window at the local College Financial Aid office. I called the police and the fingerprints were a match! Imprisoned? Nope, he wrote a bad check to the bail bondsman and got out. But sometimes paths cross. One of the policemen on the case was at a plastic surgeon’s office with his son, who exclaimed “Look at the man with the funny blue eyes.” Sure enough, he matched our suspect’s description. He put two-and-two together and asked the receptionist for information but her hands were tied thanks to HIPPA. However, she did politely suggest a convenient time for his son’s next visit. Bingo! Apprehended in office, wearing stolen contacts, tickets to Amsterdam in his pocket and waiting for a nose reconstruction. All paid for with bad checks! Sometimes optometry prevails! — Dave S., San Luis Obispo, CA


This article originally appeared in the February 2017 edition of INVISION.

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True Tales

Something Got Lost in Translation During This Exam

And the OD suffered a finger in an unexpected place.

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A LOST IN TRANSLATION story: A Spanish speaking patient and I were doing quite well getting through the exam despite not speaking each other’s language fluently. I tugged my right ear, saying look at my ear for my slit lamp work. She promptly reached over, figuring she was performing as told, and stuck her finger in my ear! Lost in translation I guess. — Brian Parker, OD, Temecula Eye Center, Temecula, CA

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True Tales

Could You Keep Your Cool if a Roach Joined You in the Exam Room?

It happened to this doc. See how he reacted.

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YEARS AGO, when I worked at a commercial practice, I was refracting a patient. I was standing to her right and spinning the dials when I looked down and noticed a cockroach sitting on her shoulder. Without a pause, I moved the near point rod down and gently placed my hand on her shoulder, at the same time flicking the roach onto the wall behind her. I completed the exam and the patient didn’t have a clue as to what transpired. — Mark Perry, OD, Vision Health Institute, Orlando, FL

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True Tales

You Should See What See Keeps in the Other Box Under Her Bed

Curiously weak lashes!

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WE HAD A PATIENT who was worried that she was losing her eyelashes too rapidly … so she collected them all in a little Altoids box and whipped it out under the doctor’s nose while in the exam lane. She wanted the doc to look at the discarded hairs “to see if there’s any issues.” The doctor politely informed her that “everything looks normal!” We still haven’t figured out how she collected that many eyelashes. — Jen Heller, Pend Oreille Vision Care, Sandpoint, ID

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