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True Tales

The Man With the Funny Blue Eyes

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I fit a new patient with opaque contact lenses. He wrote a bad check and never showed up for his follow-up appointment. We contacted him, he scheduled another appointment and was to take care of his balance but didn’t show again! The following week my office was broken into through my exam-room window and the only things taken were opaque contacts! I was suspicious. Police took fingerprints, but no match. Fast forward several weeks, I’m reading the newspaper and a person of similar description was arrested for breaking through a window at the local College Financial Aid office. I called the police and the fingerprints were a match! Imprisoned? Nope, he wrote a bad check to the bail bondsman and got out. But sometimes paths cross. One of the policemen on the case was at a plastic surgeon’s office with his son, who exclaimed “Look at the man with the funny blue eyes.” Sure enough, he matched our suspect’s description. He put two-and-two together and asked the receptionist for information but her hands were tied thanks to HIPPA. However, she did politely suggest a convenient time for his son’s next visit. Bingo! Apprehended in office, wearing stolen contacts, tickets to Amsterdam in his pocket and waiting for a nose reconstruction. All paid for with bad checks! Sometimes optometry prevails! — Dave S., San Luis Obispo, CA


This article originally appeared in the February 2017 edition of INVISION.

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True Tales

This Mechanic’s Eyewear Was a Mess … But He Followed Directions!

A tale as old as time that gives new meaning to being in ‘hot’ water.

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WE HAD A MECHANIC who returned a pair of glasses that were scratched all to hell. He said, “I followed your directions and used soap and water to clean them.” I asked what kind of soap he used, to which he replied, “Lava, that’s all I use.” When I stopped laughing I offered him a new pair of lenses and I have told this story for the last 30 years. — Alexander Saper, Great Glasses, Houston, TX

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True Tales

One OD’s Encounter Gives A Whole New Meaning to ‘Tick of the Eye’

What she thought was a scab had legs.

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I had a patient call with “something irritating her left eye for the past day.” We brought her in right away. I initially thought it was a chalazion that she had been picking at until I looked under the slit lamp. What I thought was a scab actually had legs. It was a tick embedded in her lid margin! — Kimberly Riggs, OD, Ligonier, PA

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True Tales

An Exception to the Cancellation Policy?

The no-show who showed … briefly.

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Had a patient come in the office five minutes before their appointment to tell us they will not be here for their appointment and then ran out. — Michael Davis, OD Opti-Care, Eldersburg, MD

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