True Tales

An Eyecare Patient Who Should Lay Off the Crack … and Other Audaciously True Tales From the Industry

Drugs may have interfered with this guy’s prescription. And not the legal kind.

Published

3 years ago

September 19, 2021

INVISION Staff

An Eyecare Patient Who Should Lay Off the Crack … and Other Audaciously True Tales From the Industry

Several years ago, I was working at this practice where this guy, sketchy as can be, comes in with an outside Rx, and pays for his glasses in cash. We call him to let him know they were ready, but his phone number was no longer in service. He reappears several months later asking if he had purchased glasses from us. We dispense them, and he comes back several days later saying that he can’t see out of them. I told him that he needed to go back to the prescribing doctor to see what the issue with the Rx may be, and he says, “Maybe it has to do with me smoking crack on the day I had my exam.” I couldn’t help myself and told him, “You need to lay off of the drugs, dude.” He nodded, and left. Never saw him again. — Pablo M., Alpharetta, GA
A well-dressed gentleman entered the clinic and checked in for his appointment. He was worked up and placed in an exam room. The OD working that day entered the room and promptly exited with a look of confusion on her face. After regaining her composure, she told one of the techs what she saw. She then instructed the tech to wait a few minutes before going into the room to retrieve the trash can the doctor witnessed being used as a makeshift toilet. — Kirk L., Ellisville, MS
I once had a patient come into the exam room tightly clutching a shopping bag. She would not let the bag out of her sight, and held it close by her side as I examined her. She went out to optical to pick out glasses and did the same thing, holding the bag tightly. We were all curious as to what was in the bag. We soon found out! As she left our store, she opened the bag and took out a 10-foot live Burmese python and put it around her neck! — Dr. Joseph S., New Kensington, PA
A patient of mine comes in at closing time, 4 p.m. on Saturday. The lights are off and I’m literally walking out the door. She’s holding an old hairy dog and says his eye is red. Would I write an antibiotic Rx for him? I told her I don’t treat dogs. She said I could write the Rx for her and she would give it to the dog. I told her no and asked how long the dog had the red eye. She told me one week. I looked at his eye. It was red and had dried mucus discharge around the area. I asked her why she didn’t take him to the veterinarian and she told me that the vet would charge a lot more for an office visit than me. I told her to forget it — and told her to take him to the vet. — Michael S., Coral Springs, FL

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